Chronicles of a Jongleur

So I’m back folks, from a self imposed sabbatical largely due to work related stuff that took me a few thousand miles over to the other side of the Pacific. So after a few weeks of non stop tofu and other unrecognizable (but undoubtedly tasty) stuff, I am back to eating thair sadam and Ruchi pickle. 

So, since CNN-IBN is one of the few channels that offers a respectable quality of live video streamed directly in real time, I tuned myself into one of those umpteen talk shows that serve no other purpose but to dig out old controversies and create new ones. One of them had Karan Thapar firing away at Rahul Bajaj on a million things. Now, to be absolutely candid, I respect Karan for all his journalistic abilities, but am also turned off by his wannabe-Larry King style of questioning that somehow seems to suffer from a credibility perspective. Rahul Bajaj – here was one self made (well partly inherited) billionaire tycoon that avoids the public eye with such passion that only a select few of us actually know a lot about him. 

The interview started bang on the wrong foot right away, Karan questioning Rahul’s political motivations (he is a nominated MP) while amply (and rightly) pointing out that Rahul had only a few months earlier had rubbished any talk of his role in politics. That was the beginning of 15 minutes of eminently forgettable amateurish entertainment. With Rahul, vehemently denying that he “was not a politician”, and Karan prodding him a little bit more, the show started to look like 2 school boys fighting with one another over who gets to bat first in their third grade cricket match. But to my horror, the tycoon stooped to such abysmal levels of pettiness that few people would dare to in front of national television. Consider this portion of their interview:

Rahul Bajaj: I have not got into politics. If I got elected in a party ticket or if I decided to work for a political party if I decided to work in villages if I decided to make slogans of garibi hatao, with no desire to do that, all that I will not do. I have not taken any obligations from any party. I don’t want to be obligated.

Karan Thapar: Mr Bajaj you are wonderful with words but the problem is that you are short on logic. Parliament and being an MP is part of politics.

Rahul Bajaj: Where did you go to school Karan?

Karan Thapar: Is that relevant?

Rahul Bajaj: It is very relevant because your logic is illogical.

Karan Thapar:If it is relevant I will tell you. I went to Doon School, Cambridge, Oxford and I know a lot about politics.

Rahul Bajaj: I went to Cathedral, St. Stephens, and Harvard, slightly better than you in every respect. So I understand logic. But I am a humble man unlike you.

Really guys, this is NATIONAL TELEVISION for devils sake, don’t relegate it into a bickering contest. Even with all my dislike for Karan, I couldn’t help feeling sorry at the man at the other end parading immaturity and arrogance with the swagger of a roadside bully. Here is a man, who purportedly went to Harvard to do his MBA, and really came back doing absolutely no justice to either his alumnus or his image. So what if he made a billion if his repertoire doesn’t include that fundamental trait called humility? Does a billion bucks in your kitty automatically give you a license to throw tantrums at will? Or does being an industrial heavyweight automatically make you intellectually superior than other common human beings? And please, I cannot but not help in comparing you with N.R. Narayana Murthy or a Dhirubhai Ambani or even a Warren Buffet for that matter and not help feeling disappointed with you.And I pity Harvard, whose reputation built up over four hundred years has been brought to shame in a matter of 24 minutes.

Mr. Bajaj, if you think you “won” in this interview, you are wrongly mistaken. You may have “won” (at least you believe so) the argument, but you certainly didn’t win any brownie points for people’s respect. You ended up in the unenviable position of portraying yourself as a callous, arrogant and bullying heavyweight with absolutely no trace of humility, compassion or modesty. People like cannot but imagine you as another swaggering goonda, using the power of his bankroll to muscle your way into people’s garages. And I know extrapolation is incorrect and improper, but if this is the same way in which you wield your power inside the boardrooms of Bajaj Auto, I feel sorry for the poor employees who have to wear their fake cloaks of sycophancy as they submit themselves to the moods of their torturous warlord.

“Hamara Bajaj”- yeah you wish. 

PS: The entire transcript of the interview can be found here . For those with broadband connections, feast yourself to this parody here . The video is even more hilarious than the text- I promise.